she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
