i jhust puked up my retainher.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
