every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
