I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
