Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
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the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
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Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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