happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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