I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
