Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So squirting runs in the family.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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