my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
