You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Randomize
