she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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