enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I am one with the molecules
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
why is half of my head shaved?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
