I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
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