It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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