I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize