i would punch a child for taco bell
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
