I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
