took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
