is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
