smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
