Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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