We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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