we're blogging at a bar
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
