Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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