I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
