Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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