dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
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Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
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I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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