Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
