It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
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wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
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I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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