6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize