I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
