We named our party play list daddy issues
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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