like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
