New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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