he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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