Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
