cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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