WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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