i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
do herpes really smell.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
