so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize