please come you make the beer taste better
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
