Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
