After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
