honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
