My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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