Please, let me fuck your mom
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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