I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
