So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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