Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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