also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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