I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
