Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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