He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
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Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
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Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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