i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
