The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
