question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
