Hey man sorry I got all grabby
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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