If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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