I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Terrible idea I love it
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
