I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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