Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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