I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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