My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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